Almost four years ago, I fell in love for the first time--twenty-five years too late--and began an affair. Over the years, Kevin and I have met several times a week and email several times a day. I have kept almost all of the emails that I sent to him and that he sent to me. Along the way, there has been laughter and tenderness and heat...and heartache.

This blog is the posting of our daily emails. It chronicles the lives of two people over a four year period so far, and tells the story of our burgeoning love against the backdrop of New York City.

The names and addresses have been changed to protect the innocent; the rest is 100% real.

The daily update structure helps keep the blog as authentic as possible as well as living up to its title. It also strives to provide the reader with the kind of pleasure that a soap opera offers--a daily dose of voyeuristic fun.

Please begin at the beginning, otherwise, little will make sense.

Enjoy.




Friday, November 28, 2014

Celibate at 46

Fri, Jun 22, 2012 12:05 AM

From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

12:05 AM: Hey, taciturn, you awake to chat?
12:10 AM: Whatever, I’m going to be.
_____________________________________________________

Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 8:32 AM

From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

Good morning HFG,

I am sorry I missed you last night.  I was sitting by my computer.  It never occurred to me to check google.  No one has actually used the word taciturn to describe me, but I am surprised because they have used every other variant.  That could be my middle name!

I probably have a full day of work tomorrow.  We could meet at say 4?  That is probably check- in time anyway.  If the hotel thing doesn't work out, we could see a movie and have dinner.  Maybe we could find some live music somewhere.
SNTB
______________________________________________________

Fri, Jun 22, 2012 12:35 PM

From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

Hi:

I've never experienced you as taciturn before. You are actually quite voluble, which is great. It's no fun dragging words out of someone. I guess I figured that the heat, the long day, the karate and the pot had made you not able to find the keys. I would send an email, and after long stretches of about 20 minutes or so you'd send a one line reply. How I said what I said about your "not getting any" comment came out of that frustration, and I'm sorry for that, but not for the sentiment. If you're fine going through the next 40 or more years of your life sexless, that's your choice, but I don't intend to get old before my time. If one is 80 or something, OK fine one isn't gettin' any anymore, but at 46 it's fine with you to be as celibate as an old man?

When I said I'll spend the night, I didn't mean let's get into our pjs, brush our teeth and go to sleep. I meant it would be nice to have a pied-à-terre, so when we go out, if we want to close our eyes somewhere for a couple of hours we can do that instead of me having to cab it home late at night.

I would love to go to dinner and a live music place, or even go dancing : ) they usually play this nasty techno hip hop crap at lounges. Not even the pop stuff  that I know like Lady Gaga, etc. that one can at least dance to. So, it would be nice if we can find a rock club or something of that nature.
Are you around on Sunday too? If you have to practice your music, can I come over and watch, or you can practice in the hotel room.

Anyway, bottom line if I stay, I'm alone all week-end, and I don't want to spend all day Sunday by myself, especially when I'm breaking up the family road trip.
So, tell me lover, how much you do want me to stay?

R.
______________________________________________________
Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 1:42 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

 Hello my love,

I can be chatty in person with the right person (you being the right person).  On the phone and in email I am taciturn. 
I am around Sunday too.  We should spend as much time together as we can.  This is a great opportunity for us.  What units is "want" measured in?  I really want you to stay.  I want you to stay this much (arms extended as far as possible).  Just so I understand, we would go out Saturday night, go back to the hotel, get naked, take a nap and then you would head home and come back into the city on Sunday to hang out?

I wouldn't be able to practice with someone watching.  I only practice when I am alone.  Besides, I don't think I could bring the rig to a hotel and I am not comfortable bringing you to the apartment.
I don't know anything about dancing or clubs.  How should we find a place?

Me
______________________________________________________
Fri, Jun 22, 2012 2:55 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

Hey Shiny : )
How can I refuse your as far as possible extended arms? Yes, I'll make a reservation at the Waldorf for tomorrow night. That can be our base. I can't sleep, like really sleep, with anyone in one bed, so at some point early Sunday, I'll go home to get some real sleep, not just a cat nap. I understand about the practicing and your apartment, no worries there, as long as I'll have you all to myself for hours!

The last time I knew what was happening on the dancing scene was 7 years ago in Marbella. My husband would go to bed early as usual, and my nephew and I used to go tear up the town. Everybody thought we were a couple. He's only 13 years younger than me. That was the greatest summer of partying ever. The last time I attempted night clubs in Miami Beach a couple of years ago, we always ended up at the wrong clubs on the wrong night, and completely missed a Sunday pool party at our own hotel since we didn't know about it until we got back from brunch at this place that was uber and stuff, but pretty sedate at the time, because the party was going on at the Ritz Carlton! The last time was this past winter in Switzerland. Although it was THE place in town, it was awful. Switzerland isn't big for partying, just skiing. Although they do have some great food especially near the Italian border.
So, I'll bring my phone and the latest New Yorker and we'll see what's happening around town. Anywhere we go, it'll be fun with you, SNTB : )

I don't know what time I'll get into town on Saturday. Probably more like 5 or 6.
I love you,

Me.
_______________________________________________________
Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 3:05 PM

From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

Woo Hoo!  That is going to be great.  I was afraid it would be a while until I got my hands on your hot fucking body. 
I will see what I can find in the NY Times too.  We will have plenty of options. 

All of my love,

Me
______________________________________________________

Fri, June 22, 2012 9:55 PM

From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

Hi My Shiniest Shiny:
I can't tell you how happy I am about having decided to stay. The weather is supposed to be beautiful. We are free as birds, and I have shiniest of all to hang out with. I made the reservations at the Waldorf. It was really weird because I went on hotels.com this afternoon and they had rooms starting from $199, so I booked a level up for about a hundred more, because those other rooms are too tiny. Then later today when I went to check out the room, the website for the hotel said, there are no rooms for tomorrow night. Maybe they had a sale! I thought they would be so expensive, but public schools are still in session and Europe won't get out for another few days either. How could they all sell out in one afternoon,? Although $199 is really good.

I can't wait to see you. I'm going to make you watch some porn! Maybe I can convince you of their merit. If you're really, really sweet, I'll show you the very shameful ones I watch when I watch porn. Although, in real life, I would never let someone do that to me! That's the difference between fantasy and reality.
XOXOXOXO

R.
_____________________________________________________
Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 10:39 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

I am pretty happy too!  We are going to have a great time. 

I was worried about the cost.  I am glad it was reasonable.  That is such a huge hotel.  I wouldn't think it could ever sell out.  Maybe just sold out of rooms at that price.  We don't need much room.  We will be really close together. 

I have an early day tomorrow and I want to be rested for you.  Do you want to chat? I am really looking forward to hanging out tomorrow night with my smokin' hot fucking girlfriend. 

XOXOXO
SNB
_____________________________________________________

Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 11:10 PM

From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

Good night my love.
_____________________________________________________
Fri, Jun 22, 2012 11:47 PM

From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

Good-night my love. Sorry I missed you. I was helping Isa pack for tomorrow, and spending some time with her since she'll be gone for a month. Then since she is in complete language immersion or rather sequestration, Nadi and I wrote a note in Spanish for her to find in her suitcase once she gets to Middlebury. We had to look stuff up on Babel Fish, but Nadi was able to write her own, and correct mine, since my French takes me so far with Spanish.

I'm soooo excited to see you!

I LUV U!!!
XOXOXO

Moi.

 

 

 

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