From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Hello
HFG,
It
is going to be a hot one. We could get
really sweaty today.
We
have several air conditioners not working. I am already getting complaints about the temperature. It is going to be a very long day. I wish I could hide.
What
are you up to today?
SNB
_____________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 11:19 AM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX Ugh. I hope you are having a better day than me. I have been talking to myself all morning. I love my job, I love my job, I don’t love my job, I love my job.
_____________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 11:20 AM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Hi
My Love:
Yes, it looks like a hot one out there. I'm sorry you have to deal with the air conditioning not working properly especially on a day like this. Don't they always seem to go on the blink on the worst days? I wish you could hide too, with me : )
I'm going to print out our entire email conversations, then label the envelope first draft or something like that, and stick it under all my old writings, I mean going back a decade at least. Nobody is going to read any of those papers until I'm dead. I don't know whether I should erase them off the computer. If one backs stuff up, do they back up to somewhere? Or if my computer crashes and they retrieve stuff, will it be on the hard drive? I wish I knew these things better.
I
got home really late last night, around 10, then they gave me all sorts of
trouble until they went to sleep. I wrote you this long email about my
adventures when I was trying to lose my virginity, but decided not to send it.
Then I listened to Lady Antebellum, which I've decided is my new favorite band
for the moment.
Here’s
the link to the song I told you. Have you ever seen this movie, "Before
Sunrise?" It's really witty and charming. The video of the song is like a
sound track to that movie although it was made later I believe. Anyway, it
reminds me of us, because the video is as much about parting as it is about
meeting, as are we, except their city is Paris, ours is New York.
XOXOXOXO
Me.
______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 20, 2012 at 11:29 AM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
You
LOVE your job! More importantly, it loves you. Check your retirement fund.
Today, it’s a prima donna, a cranky high maintenance woman, if you deal
properly, tomorrow she’ll be better. I promise.
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 11:30 AM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Hello
you,
Your email was perfectly timed. It is nice to get one from someone I like who is not complaining.
They do always break on the hot days. That is when they get fully tested. Every little leak or loose bolt comes into play. Then of course the repairmen are super busy so it takes a while. They of course don't worry about the urgency.
The
emails are stored in servers as Google. They are not on your hard drive. A
search will only reveal the amount of time you spend on the site. In some
cases, your account could be searched. A
computer crash won't affect them.
I
don't know that movie. I will check out
the video when I have a chance. I also don't know about Lady Antebellum. I have heard of them (her?) but don't know
any of the music. What can you tell me?
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 11:32 AM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX I also love you and your smoking hot body.
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 11:40 AM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Hello you,
Your email was perfectly timed.
It is nice to get one from someone I like who is not complaining.
I don't know that movie. I will check out the video when I have a chance. I also don't know about Lady Antebellum. I have heard of them (her?) but don't know any of the music. What can you tell me?
You get to know about these bands when you have teenagers, because you're more often than not listening to certain radio stations. What do you mean, what can I tell you? About the band? They are two guys and a girl, their sound is pop rock, I think, but what I know? Mellow, melodic.
You aren't a virgin?
Would you have wanted me to be? : )
Those virginity conversations are more appropriate to 10 at night rather
than in the bright light of day when the air conditioners don't work! You have
to tell me sometime about your experiences from the time you lost yours in that
car until you got married.
I love you Shiny, hang in there! This too shall pass.
XOXOXO
Roya
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 12:07 PM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXXI wouldn't have wanted a virgin. There isn't much to tell about my history. My next experience didn't happen until college. I had a one night stand with a woman I worked with. I don't actually remember anything because I was drunk. When I met my wife, I was dating two other women. I also dated a third before I committed. I probably had sex about a dozen times before I met my wife. That is it. As you might have guessed, I am about as close to a virgin as a married man can be. That is probably too much information.
XOXOXOX
Me
________________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 1:57 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX Phew, what a relief, I would've truly not qualified for a virgin! Wow, you were dating a lot of women at the same time! How was it with your wife at the beginning? A lot of people who got married when you did probably had fewer experiences than you. You're lucky I like virginal men : ) if you weren't so macho-like, so angular, you could be cherubic. You told me something a while back. You said you thought your present sex life was your wife's responsibility, now you know it's yours, what did you mean by that?
Not
only what you've told me isn't too much information, but I love knowing stuff
about you, everything about you.
So, to punish you for not being explicit enough, I'll tell you about my virginity adventures. I should call it "Three's A Charm."
It
was the summer of my sophomore year. I was 16. I was spending the summer at my
friend Marie-Francis' house. She is half Italian, half polish. Her father was a
doctor with some aristocratic ties, and her mother was an opera buff, and
chaired this and that. They had a country house in Hempsted CT. Their house was
in Wethersfield, a town about 20 minutes outside of Hartford. So, the parents
go off to the lake house, leaving MF, her sisters, brother and me alone. Now,
MF, is two years older than me and eldest of them all. So, we were painting her
bathroom. We were putting pictures of ice-cream cones and Life Savers and
chocolate chip cookies and such on the walls. Once, we were done, we got all
dressed and made-up, then we took a cab to a night club. In those areas, they
tend to be in the middle of nowhere on some highway. That particular one was
called Emotions, can you believe it?
So, nobody carded at that time, we were girls and we did look older, so we are drinking and we meet these two guys. They were in their early twenties. So, we leave with them, they drive us to her house, and we end up making out in the front and back seats of the car. It was a lot of fun and I really liked him. He was 21. The next day, MF's sister narcs to the parents on us and they ship us to the lake house outside of the "city" where we are bound to get ourselves into "trouble." So, this guy and I phone called and arranged a date to go to an amusement park. When I had gone to the night club, I was dressed up, he was in jeans. When he came to pick me up for the amusement park, he was dressed in some kind of dressy polyester pants, and I was in jeans, because after all we were going to an amusement park. It was kind of raining, and of course the whole point was to park. So, we parked, got in the back seat, and I pulled out a condom I had purchased, since I always like to be prepared. Well, I don't remember whether he had any, but he sure was surprised that I did. He didn't even know I was 16, I told him I was 19. Well, I don't know what we did, but there was no pain and no pleasure, I'm assuming for him too, I have no idea. The trouble with us girls is that we think the boy should know everything, like by instinct, but how would he know unless somebody had shown him? Fathers used to take their sons to hookers in the olden days, or at least bless the effort with hookers or not; an older woman getting involved is always a good way, or best of all, the guy can have a lot of experience at his tender age I guess with other 14-16 year olds. Lots of luck when I was that age! Though more of that should happen in my opinion. I have no problem for the girls to bring their boyfriends home when they are about 16. They can explore and learn together, but as friends too, not just hook ups. I regress though.
I
thought I was done, virginity gone. Something so prized by my mother, disposed
of so that I would not worry about the pain, and now be able to explore the
pleasures of it all. So, the next time I did it, I was in Ohio. I was staying
with my African-American friend, Therlanda, on spring break. She was very
pretty. She was having an affair with the head of the math department, Mr.
Stone who was euro-American, had a wife and three daughters and seemingly a
perfecto family life. Therlanda loved it. It was in no way him taking
advantage, but still, he was in his thirties and she was seventeen. Can you
imagine the scandal if we added the racial thing?! It would be too juicy! So,
while I was there, Therlanda and I went visiting her old boyfriend, a euro boy
who was also really cute. Well, they left me sitting in the living room while
the two of them went into the kitchen and started making out so much and so
loudly that I came, without any physical stimulation except pressing my legs
together. That was certainly a unique experience. So, she sets me up with an
African-American friend of hers. Well, I didn't mind except I really didn't
like that type of hair texture, it's so rough, I don't even like curly hair,
but we went out to a movie. He gave me a gift, a necklace, a round off-white
ball with blue flowers painted on it on a chain. I still have it all these
years later. So, after the movie we went into his car, and got naked enough. He
was rather large, which is always annoying; you're supposed to say, wow and
shit like that when you're not thinking that at all. He couldn't get hard.
Well, let me tell you, I was so lucky. Because if he had shoved that thing up
me when I was expecting to not feel any pain because I wasn't a virgin in my
mind, I would've had a shock! So, we're like whatever and went home.
Fast
forward a year. I’m 17, in college, my dorm room, steady boyfriend, and we are
doing it for the first time. Well, you should've seen my face when there was
this sharp pain and a blood stain on the sheet. I shot up like an arrow,
yelling. And then gave him a what for for hurting me, the poor guy. But then we
resumed, and had a really good sex life until I broke up with him two years
later. All's well that ends well I guess. Have I told you this story before in person? Maybe I did.
How
are the air conditioners?
XOXOX
SNG
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 3:10 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXXI don't know for sure that my present sex life is my fault. The issue remains her lack of interest. Recent events lead me to conclude I may not be very interesting in that regard. I may have been clueless. Of course it could also be lack of practice. I need to test that hypothesis.
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 3:27 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Are you fucking kidding me?! You not interesting in that regard?! I hope you realize that her lack of interest has little to do with you. Well, you've got someone over here who is very interested, and very much up to practicing with you; let's test all sorts of hypotheses : )
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 4:06 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
I am very glad you are interested and are willing to practice. I wish we could practice today and all weekend. My wife is away. That said, you thought I was gay.
I
think my wife has her own issues to deal with.
She had an eating disorder when she was younger and still has an
unpleasant relationship with her food. She also has mild exercise
anorexia.
I
was dating a few women at the same time. Two of them knew about the others. I
married the one that didn't know. I thought I was pretty hot stuff. I once did
it with all three of them in the same day! My wife and I did it several times a
day for many years. Then several times a week for a few more years. Then it
trailed off. I can't say I really noticed when or how or why. It stopped
completely a few years ago, maybe as many as 8. Going without for so long was
probably good preparation for the shock of last week. I think if that had
happened at a different time in my life, I would have been devastated. Over the
years I redirected the energy into karate and music. And lots of showers. It is
very disappointing but not the end of the world. My life is good. Most men I
know aren't getting any either.
I am planning to see a urologist. That should be fun.
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 4:28 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
I
was going up to VT to deliver my daughter to the language camp, but given my
back I don't think I can ride in the car for those many hours, I really don't
think I can. So, I can be around sans famille, if you like from Saturday around
noon. I can't believe you did it with 3 women in one day! I hear you on what
happens over the years. I think seeing a urologist is a good idea. It can't
hurt just in case.
So, I'll tell you about my gay story. Maybe you'll understand if I tell you what happened. When I was in college and had that boyfriend to whom I lost my virginity, he had a roommate. We were all 18 then and none of us knew much about anything. So, his roommate and I became friends. He looked a lot like you actually. He was your height, your coloring. I adored him and he said he adored me. So, I broke up with my boyfriend actually because he didn't want me to spend as much time with Marie-Francis and his roommate. We were wild; he was a good student. So, the guy I adored and I moved in. He had been a virgin; he slept with MF for the first time, then explored some gay stuff. He used to say he hated to be gay, and that if he ever got married it couldn't be to anyone but me. He was perfect, except. We slept together a few times. He came when we fucked, but he could never sustain it long enough, or be into me long enough for me to come. I didn't even care. A couple of years went by, and it just got to be too depressing, despite himself, and his love for me (and I know he loved me) he wanted men, he couldn't help it. I've never experienced such pain ever in my life before or since. It was what made me get into therapy. Although, that was the silver lining. Therapy helped me tremendously.
So,
from that day on, I'm just so scared, because then there is nothing I can do, I
can't compete. I even tried women to see if I could turn gay, maybe he could
turn straight. But I am what I am, and I'm not gay. So, that night with you, I
just freaked out. I was like, what if it's so suppressed that you can't even tell
yourself, like he couldn't. But I believe that this isn't the case anymore. You
get too hard when you kiss me. So, if you ever want to practice with me again,
I really don't care what happens or not. It just matters to be with you.
XOXOXOXO
R.
_____________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 6:01 PM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXXIt could well be suppressed. On the other hand, as I have said before, gay is very over rated. If I were gay, it would be a serious problem because I have no attraction to men, penises or anal sex. I think a lot of gay people are not born gay but choose the most offensive form of self-loathing they can find. To me, it is not much different than getting a tattoo on your face.
I
would love to see you on Saturday. I
have to work in the morning. Let me find
out what is involved and get back to you.
SNB
______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 6:25 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Is she gone on Sunday too? If yes, until when?
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 6:35 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
She comes back on Monday.
_______________________________________________________
Thur, Jun 21, 2012 6:45 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
So,
theoretically we have all Saturday afternoon, night and Sunday? Well, the two
of us together could make such hay.
I don't know, Shiny, we have to agree to disagree about gay people. I know that my friend didn't want to be gay. He really didn't, but he couldn't help it. No matter. Why should we argue over that? I figure if you were doing it with three women, and with your wife every day several times, or even once a day for all that time, you aren't gay.
But I get a feeling you're in a bad mood today, either that or the shine is wearing off the new girlfriend. You don't want to be with me anymore all the way, do you? You're worried that I will react badly again. You can be honest, it's all right. I've survived before, I will again. I'll just cry a few days and then I'll be fine.
R.
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 9:18 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Are
you rehearsing tonight? Are you around later?
_______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 10:15 PM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXXHello my still shiny love,
I
was at the gym. Tonight is my karate night. I had a lot of fun. I expressed my
inner bully. Now I am expressing my inner pot head. Today was a long day as will tomorrow.
People
can be gay for whatever reason they want. Nobody has to explain themselves to
me. I only wish it made them happier. I find that ironic.
I
would love to spend that time together. The logistics are a little unclear. Would
you stay in the city overnight?
SNB
______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 10:22 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
To:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX So last Thursday you skipped it?
I don't know, I could stay in the city. I'll have to see how I feel. If we meet, I'm springing for the hotel room. Can you spend the night?
______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 at 10:41 PM
From:
K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Yes,
last Thursday I skipped it. It is my
second favorite thing to do. I could
spend the night.
______________________________________________________
Thu, Jun 21, 2012 11:22 PM From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
You
know that thing you said about, "my life is good. I know lots of guys my age or
in my circumstances or whatever who aren't getting it either"? That's the
biggest bunch of self-deluding loser bullshit I've ever heard. I hope you've
snapped out of that little state.
______________________________________________________
Thu,
Jun 21, 2012 at 11:34 PM From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
Which of us is in a bad mood?.
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