The loss of the emails from Sunday, July 15, 2012 stretches into today.
To apologize for the disastrous night of Friday the 13th, the night of the gig, Kevin sent me a love poem by the great Persian poet, Rumi, whom he likes. The romantic gesture and the interest in my culture was disarming. How else could I interpret it but as an expression of his love?
Suddenly the drunken sweetheart appeared out of my door.
She drank a cup of ruby wine and sat by my side.
Seeing and holding the lockets of her hair
My face became all eyes, and my eyes all hands.
Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 8:54 AM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
Good morning most beautiful woman,
I have been to a few Persian weddings. Shouldn't she have worked that out by then? There is sort of a public face and private reality. The veil is a great metaphor for it.
Your week sounds insane. I am tired just reading about it. Dinner on the 26th should work. The 31st will be awesome. I am looking forward to it.
I love you.
Me
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 1:08 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
I wish I could see you today. I need to give you a giant hug.
I love you HFG. Big time.
SNB
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 2:51 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
I wish I could see you too, but it seems I'm a prisoner in the house these days. I have no excuse or reason whatsoever to go anywhere. The poem you sent me inspired me to read poetry all morning, Persian, what I could find of Irish. Danny boy is sad, but it's also so romantic, because their love lives beyond even death. Tell me some of your favorite Irish poets, if you have any you like in particular.
As my car service guy, Juan, puts it, life is unpredictable, and oh so ironic. The next two weeks is going to be really weird. My husband, now with a start date, has nothing to do but hang around the house all day, and I with summer here, basically the same, once the kids go to sleep away, it will be just the two of us all day and all night here in this house. A year ago, even six months ago, I would've welcomed that. We used to be friends; we used to have a lot of fun together. But now there's you, and my heart is somewhere else. The days coming up will be weird. Be patient with me. Once he goes to work, I will be a lot freer. We have a couple of dates, let's see if we can carve out more somehow in August, the week of 13th should be really good. I know you'll be just back from vacation, but hopefully you can take off early a couple of days and I will be able to stay until 8 or 9. I'm still hoping we can have a routine at some point, like you said.
I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!
Me
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 4:57 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
I will definitely carve out every possible minute for you. I look forward to every moment we spend together. We need to spend some quality time together. I miss you.
Check out WB Yeats. He was instrumental in recreating Irish culture. Oscar Wilde is probably the most accessible to a general audience. James Joyce is the king of Irish poetry. Every Irishman fancies himself a poet. It is an excuse for being a drunk. I am probably the only Irishman that doesn't sing. You will find a lot of poetry in the music as well.
I love you Roya.
XOXOX
Me
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 6:40 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Funny, I read a bunch of Yeats in college but never registered that he was Irish. I like Joyce and especially Oscar Wilde but never knew they wrote poetry, just novels and plays. We shouldn't forget Beckett, although he was kind of a bastard Irish, because he was so French. I like his stuff though.
So in my desperation to find us SOMETHING private, I've been looking at restaurants with beds, which seem to have gone out of fashion. Not that we can do much there, but at least we can make out. That brought me to Inns or Bed and Breakfasts in NYC that might be rented by the week perhaps for slightly more than the Waldorf for the night, or at least might not with late check-in times. Anyway, just exploring to see what our alternatives might me. We should go back to Gaslight at some point unless we find something more interesting.
What are you doing tonight? You gonna grill? There is music in Central Park tonight. Tomorrow night, they'll be up here. My house is a ten minute walk to Van Cortlandt Park. I always loved taking a picnic and going when I lived in Manhattan.
Last night the family movie was Pan's Labyrinth, very gory, but it was in Spanish for some reason with English subtitles, so Nadi is old enough to read the subtitles and the Spanish is good for her language skills, but I had to be very mature, and calm, as she trashed around trying to get out of it. Finally, she watched it and liked it enough to watch to the end.
My movie was Emergency Kisses, which is really Rescue Kisses. It was French and in black and white. I think you would've puked. It was about this director whose written a movie with his lover in it, but he refuses to let her play herself although she's an actress and hires another woman to play her, so the lover is tortured and the whole thing is a meditation on love, not all kinds of love, but romantic love. It had a happy ending though.
It reminded me a little of us, because the guy just sits there being himself, doing whatever he does, and tells her he loves her, but she goes off, flailing around, won't talk to him for a while, then after she's done throwing a fit, comes back.
I love you SNB. I can't wait to see you. The wait is so long.
Me.
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 6:59 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
Yeats is an Irish poet. The others are poets who are Irish
Nothing going on tonight. I don't think I will barbeque. We will probably order in and watch stupid tv. I might get to watch the baseball game. What is going on in the Park?
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 9:00 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Yeats is an Irish poet. The others are poets who are Irish. You're such a smarty pants. That's why I like you. Not a lot of people know how to draw such distinctions or what they mean. It reminded me of When Irish Eyes Are Smiling. I hadn't thought of that song in a while. That's one I should serenade you with it : )
Gaslight is good. It serves our purpose. The Bed and Breakfasts are an interesting idea. I will look into those.
Nothing going on tonight. I don't think I will barbeque. We will probably order in and watch stupid tv. I might get to watch the baseball game. What is going on in the Park?
The Philharmonic plays for free.
XOXOXO
HFG
PS.
When we fight, do you experience them as I do? Like you do something careless, I get hurt, so I get angry. I "shout" at you, you stand your ground, maybe you say you're sorry, but you don't really take it back. Is that the path of least resistance? : ) Then you just stay, not budging but not leaving while I exhaust myself and then come crawling back, because what else can I do? I can't change you, I can’t provoke you, and I'm madly in love with you. Or do you experience them differently? If so, how?
I just want to walk out the door and come to you so much...
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 9:57 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
Yeats was part of a movement to bring back gaelic culture. He made a very conscious effort to be Irish. The others had no such limit on their creativity. Many Irish patriots learned their Irish culture from Yeats.
We didn't make it to the Park. Too bad because it was such a nice night.
It is the path of least resistance. I listen. I am receptive. I hate to see you upset. "Sorry" isn't one of my words. I hate apologies. It is an indulgence of the guilty.
You need to love me the way I am. I love you. You are way out of my league. I will come up short pretty often. It isn't for lack of trying.
XOXOXOXO
SNB
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 10:28 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
I love you just as you are. I'm just getting to know you, like you said. We're both getting to know each other. It isn't fair that I can't touch you right now. This is definitely masochistic, sitting here pining away for you. But when I'll see you again, I'll be so happy. I'll squeeze you forever : )
Good night my love. This kind of longing should be illegal J
HFG
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 10:39 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX
Sweet Dreams my love.
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Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 11:37 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Good night, Shiniest, Shiny. I love you .
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