From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Good
morning,
I
haven't heard from him yet. Not sure
what that means. Time will tell. Have a great day.
Me
______________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 10:55 AM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
Hi:
I
hope everything will work out with your boss.
I'm
writing this because I believe it's better to communicate than not. I'm afraid
I didn't have a very good time yesterday, and I'm afraid that the disparity in
our physical satisfaction has become a pattern as opposed to a fluke. It's not
that I'm incapable of being satisfied, or you incapable of satisfying me. You
did the first two times we met. But it was also newer and so extremely
exciting, that could've been a factor. However, even since the first time, I
feel I have to prompt you to things to me. It makes me feel you don't want to,
that you don't care. I simply don't understand why there is such a gap between
your words and actions, unless you don't mean them, and are hoping pretty words
will mollify me enough to please you and go about my business. Men selfishly
using women in bed for their own satisfaction is certainly prevalent. I'm hoping there is something besides apathy
that you can explain to me. Sure, I can show you where is sensitive and how to
touch me or go down on me or fuck me, but I can't make it matter to you, I
can't make it be a sense of responsibility as a partner, a source of pride and
satisfaction to satisfy your woman. To
me that's a real man, not someone who simply pays for the hotel room. That's a
client.
You
simply can't have a woman as sexual as me who doesn't care about her own
physical satisfaction. That's fantasy not reality. The only women like that in
reality pretend they're sexual and get paid for pretending. Then yes, nobody
cares if they come or not, including them. But I'm not in that business.
I
think there is something very wrong when a person goes home after being with
her lover all afternoon dissatisfied. I know I was bitchy and brittle. I just
felt you weren't into it and that would inhibit me so much that the whole thing
would be a lost cause. So, it made me angry, perhaps because I'm not one of
those people who could think, who cares if it's work for him, I'll make him do
it until I come, but I'm not built that way. Satisfying your partner in bed is
like a gift. It has to be given freely and joyfully. If the person has to ask
for it, it isn't the same. I have no problem experimenting or practicing, but I
feel there is a lack of initiative and interest on your part.
I've
learned you can't change people, but I'm just hoping it's not that you don't
have it in you, or don't want to, but that something, a misconception, a way
you imagine things should be which isn't how good sex actually is, etc. that
has made things how they are. I feel pleasing my lover is my responsibility; I
take pride and great satisfaction in it. I need a lover who feels the same way.
Maybe you have issues with the female body or sex in general, I don't know. I
hope not.
I'm
so attracted to you. I love being with you, I love turning you on and
satisfying you more than you know, but there is a big piece missing, and I
don't see us going on without it. I'm just hoping this is a phase in our
relationship not the beginning of the end.
I
love you.
R.
________________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 12:53 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
I
am very sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Sex with you is extraordinary. You
deserve all the best.
I
don't claim to be a real man, just a man, an unremarkable ordinary guy trying
to get through life without making anyone else's life worse. I am amazed that I
was able to catch your attention and not at all surprised that it is fading.
______________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 1:44 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
I am very sorry. You are
a beautiful woman. Sex with you is
extraordinary.
Do you want me to feel the same way? That sex with you is
extraordinary? If so, what do you think you can do to make it so?
I don't claim to be a real man, just a man, an unremarkable
ordinary guy trying to get through life without making anyone else's life
worse.
What's a real man? You are remarkable. I don't need extraordinary,
just a man who cares to please me too.
I am amazed that I was able to catch your attention and not at
all surprised that it is fading.
What a passive woe is me bunch of bull. You're just going to throw
up your hands and walk? As if it's something unattainable? Of course, if I'm
supposed to service you and go about my business, yes, it has lasted longer
than it should've, but that's not what I thought is going on between us. A
smart man like you can't figure out how to please his partner in bed?
Especially if that partner is willing to explain? Unless you think it's unmanly
to please your lover. When we first met, you told me that I didn't believe I'm
attractive. You made me believe it. This isn't that different. Where do we go
from here is your choice. If you're telling me to just accept and be satisfied
with similar encounters as yesterday, then I'm afraid we aren't going anywhere,
(as difficult and heartbreaking as it would be for me) but if you're saying
let's talk about it, let's get our expectations and signals straight, let's
play, explore, enjoy, then I say, when? : )_____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 2:14 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Woe
is not me. I am still the luckiest guy
on earth.
I
need some time to think. This can't
happen again.
____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 2:23 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
What
can't happen again?
____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 2:38 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Questions
about my "manliness". This is
our second go round on this subject. The
first time I was insulted. This time I
am embarrassed. Either way, this isn't
healthy for either of us.
____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 3:11 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
I'm
not trying to insult or embarrass you. If I have, I'm sorry. There isn't
anything to be embarrassed about. At least, not from where I'm standing. I'm
just trying to figure you out. You aren't easy to figure out. I don't
understand why you don't take initiative with me in bed like I take with you. I
don't know whether you're shy, afraid, disinterested, lazy, just don't know how
it's supposed to work? I'm just in the dark. Only you can tell me. Any reason
is fine with me as long as it's honest. I hope you can figure it out, because I
do love you. I think I show it, I just would like you to love me back. If you
loving me isn't just lip service (now that's funny) then show me.
"manliness" and "womanliness" and all that stuff is
bullshit. We're just two people who are trying to connect in the most
fulfilling way.
R.
_____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 5:57 PM
From: Claudia Bonn@
XXXX.XXX
To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
You wrote to me:
I miss you too. I like
the way you think. Let's work on that
orgasm together. It will be the perfect
way for us to reconnect.
I love kissing you, going down on you, and generally rubbing our bodies together.
I want to focus on going down on you. You have to give me precise
instructions. I am eager to provide
maximum pleasure. It really turns me
on. I want you to come in my face.
Then there was the one where you say,
I've been thinking of going down on you and I've decided I don't
like you on top, but on your back because that gives me more freedom.
I'm leaving for Boston now to pick up the kids. Will be back around
3 in the morning.
If you need dates on these, I'll be happy to provide : )
I love you Kevin.
_____________________________________________________
Wed, Aug 15, 2012 at 6:31 PM
From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX
To: Claudia Bonn@
XXXXX.XXX
Don't
need dates. Drive safely, it just
started to rain.
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