Ta'arof

*NOTE

As that Sunday, I was on the road from New York City to Vermont to pick up my daughters from a language immersion camp, Kevin and I didn't get a chance to connect as often as we normally did, but we still managed. 

Sun, Aug 12, 2012 at 8:59 AM

From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

I am not sure what I said about sweets.  I don't really eat candy, but I eat lots of baked goods.  I prefer most things sweet.  I don't drink coffee or drink bitter drinks.

Is Yummy a word?  I am looking forward to tasting you as well.  I like to have my mouth on various parts of your body.  I am very oral.  I love kissing you.  I love going down on you.  Basically I like pleasing you.  It is such a turn on. 

I have a lot to do today.  So many errands to run.  Have a great day.

I love you.

SY?B

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Sun, Aug 12, 2012 at 6:27 PM

From: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

To: Claudia Bonn@ XXXXX.XXX

Tell me about Ta'aruf.

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Sun Aug 12, 2012 at 11:51 PM

From: Claudia Bonn@ XXXX.XXX

To: K<dancing.midnight@XXXXX.XXX

You will probably read this in the morning, so:

Good morning my love: 

I'm finally home. We've been like ships in the night. You go, I stay. You come back, I go. Finally, on Tuesday we'll be in the same place at the same time! : ) Yes, you told me about candy and coffee. I guess I just assumed candy means all sweets, since I equally like baked goods and candy, as long as they are chocolate. So, we shall have baked goods on Tuesday. We should have chocolate pudding so that I can smear it all over you mouth then lick it off. Yes, yummy is definitely a word and it definitely applies to you. You're a good clue finder : ) So, let's change the N to Y, because we've know each other a little past new. But shiny will always apply. What do you think?

Ta'arof is a social ritual that aims to reinforce mutual good manners and subsequently perhaps true good will. But as it's practiced, it a vacuous social construct. If I compliment you on something of yours, you offer to give it to me, I refuse, you insist, and we go on for a while like that, then I prevail and you don't have to part with your loved object. It's the same for paying a bill in the restaurant, people go on for twenty minutes, sometimes they start fighting, it would make great comedy. I don't ta'arof. It's a waste of time. But I find good manners important to the bonds that keeps civilized society civilized, so it's better for people to argue over who will treat whom as opposed to try to force each other to pay.

I’m very tired, I have to go to bed now. I love you Kevin. 

XOXOXO

HFG